Fear Not Business Hoarders (You Actually Win by Giving)

There is Plenty for All of Us – So Serve Abundantly

A direct competitor recently emailed me. Let’s call her “Mary.”

We are acquaintances by the slimmest of margins. I vaguely recall meeting her ~14 years ago. I don’t know Mary well, not sure I would recognize her in a lineup.

She asked if we could meet and share ideas. Here is what she wrote:

I was interested in speaking generally & confidentially (probably in person) about the practice of family law and mediation. I do not have a specific goal.

I did initially want to share that while we’ve done a great job automating some parts of the practice, we’ve been struggling with a digital strategy. (Although we have several vendors that are starting to work out.)

I’m happy to share what has worked well for us. Maybe there is some room for collaboration? I have no idea. Still, if you (& your partners) feel this isn’t the right time for this kind of discussion, please let me know. There are no hard feelings at all. Wishing you the best.

Our firm is quite a bit larger than hers. She cold called me and took a risk. On the surface, she has more to lose than I do by meeting and sharing.

I am definitely going to book time to talk to her. I loved the email and her growth mindset. I look forward to masterminding with her.

The more people in my life like Mary, the better off I am. I hope I can add value to her.

Mary’s email reminded me of a few things.

Fortune favors the bold

Mary is bold. She put herself out there by emailing me.  She has a winner’s growth mentality.  I respect that.

Meeting other professional colleagues is one of the highest ROI activities lawyers can do.

It mystifies me that more lawyers don’t do this. Boldness directly correlates to winning.

Humility is super attractive

She is humble and vulnerable. These two traits are super attractive. I always want to help people who show vulnerability. Most people feel this way.

The downside to vulnerability is that losers take advantage. Yes, that will happen. It feels awful.

But, it’s rare. The positive ROI from vulnerability far outweighs the emotional costs.

We all edit what people see about ourselves. The truth is that the less we edit the more we gain. When we are authentic, others trust us more.

Focus on adding value first

Mary states she doesn’t have a specific goal. I believe her. But, I do think she has an agenda.

I am totally cool with her agenda. She wants to establish a relationship and add value to me. That’s most of her agenda.

Mary is not ignorant of the rewards that may flow back to her. There might be referrals from our firm or a marketing strategy she learns, but taking does not seem to be her focus.

The potential for benefit is buried in her agenda somewhere. But, it’s not in the forefront of her thinking at all.

Don’t be a moocher

Mary was careful to remind me about what she is not.  Since I don’t know her well, she wrote:

10 years ago, after a 3-hour lunch with a senior lawyer who was interested in starting a mediation practice, I offered to share my initial retainer agreement with him.

He thanked me very much and then promptly asked me if I would share “all my forms.” I stumbled around and finally said that I wasn’t really comfortable with that. He then backtracked saying he didn’t “really” mean it.

I’m not interested being on either end of that kind of behavior.

The “Greed Tax” is expensive

The “senior lawyer” she mentions was selfish and clueless. That is a costly life invoice to frequently pay.

He lost an opportunity to create a friend and ally. Unless Mr. Self-Centered learned to put others first, I bet that this lawyer is still scraping by after 10 years.

Take every interesting meeting

Relationships make the world go ’round.

Although I rarely do meetings during my prime thinking and productivity times, I try to take all the interesting ones.

Never stop playing the long game – networking is a long game.

Abundance beats hoarding every day (and twice on Sunday)

Mary’s email was all about abundance thinking. She recognizes that there is more opportunity in the world than we all can capture.

Hoarding what we know and have is a roadblock to success. Focusing on serving others eliminates our success barriers.